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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23464558">I Mean, I Seriously Expected Better From You, My Mistake</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/HereInTheLaterNow/pseuds/HereInTheLaterNow'>HereInTheLaterNow</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Hm, That's Not Right [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>My Time At Portia (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>4/20 blaze it, April Fools' Day, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Drabble Collection, F/F, F/M, Ficlet Collection, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other, Preferences, like multiple times a day, this updates a lot, what the actual fuck is this</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 16:07:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>925</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23464558</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/HereInTheLaterNow/pseuds/HereInTheLaterNow</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A Series of Random Titles without the theme. A ficlet book without the scheme. A preference post without the team. A collection of drabbles not like it seems. A crackfic bursting from the seams.</p><p>(AKA: what weed do you smoke because this shit's weird. Appropriate to post in the month of 4/20)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>just like read the chapter titles you'll know</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Hm, That's Not Right [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1620085</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. crack 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>sometimes it's serious, sometimes it's not. i dunno what to say.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Xu: im starting to hate Portia. three women have already offered to fist me.</p>
<p>Antoine: make that 4 let me get my knuckles deep in that asshole</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. crack 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>jump, jump, jump around</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Every woman in Portia: you wanna...apologize??</p>
<p>Albert: not if i can help it. no</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. crack preference 1 a</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this bitch empty....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................yeet</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>How the 🅱ois flirt:</p><p>Remington: you are so beautiful i love you. Everyday i am glad to see your face.</p><p>Arlo: you fight good</p><p>Hula hoop men: ok but like...we're having a barbecue.</p><p>Django: .</p><p>Xu: im sorry this isn't covered by your insurance</p><p>Mint: zzzzzzzz.....<em>snore</em></p><p>Higgin s: fuck you</p><p>Albert: fuck me</p><p>Antoine: sis your highlight is POPPING</p><p>Aadit: damn you got my feelings going rogue</p><p>Paulie: what</p><p>Tody: huh</p><p>Oaks: who</p><p>Cent: sorry can't hear u over my <em><b>gaming</b></em></p><p>Mysterious Man: it's half off.</p><p>Gust: get the FUCK out of my town</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. crack preference 1 b</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>yeah</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>How the gals flirt:</p><p>Emily: you know...country girls make do</p><p>Sonia: ya foundation is BLENDED sis</p><p>Petra: you ever checked what was on those discs ;)</p><p>Lucy: you gotta get that EDUCATION! go fuckign learn..</p><p>Mei: i just wanted to take the time out of our busy schedules to tell you i appreciate all that you've done for me and the town. thank you so much.</p><p>Ginger: please call dr. xu i think something's wrong</p><p>Phyllis: don't even fucking look at me unless you're about that motherfucking bread. broke ass.</p><p>Sam: what if we sparred? hahah im joking. Unless?</p><p>Alice: i got you this flower because it reminded me of you.</p><p>Nora: did you fucking pray to mother nature today?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. crack preference 1 c</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>why the....why the fuck is cent and the mysterious man not in this version?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>How the other townspeople flirt with you:</p><p>Presley: can you <em>*he leans forward towards you, his voice lowered to a whisper*</em> fill out this paperwork?</p><p>Ack: what</p><p>Gale: please leave me in peace</p><p>Isaac: piss off</p><p>Lee: fuck off</p><p>Russo: can't you see im busy</p><p>Martha: oh...hehe...come inside</p><p>McDonald: you wanna....buy some beef?</p><p>Yeye: hahah welcome to my suspicious hotel in the middle of a desert</p><p>Sophie: what year is it</p><p>Merlin: i swear to god come the day i can legally kill you i will do it.</p><p>Huss: bitch...what?</p><p>Tuss: what...bitch?</p><p>Allen Carter: let me build a connection between the two of us</p><p>Builder Sweet: who are you</p><p>Builder Wang: Do I even have to make the joke?</p><p>Musa: i have a wife</p><p>Random Tourist: excuse me do you know where i can find</p><p>Mali: if that bitch ass boy Arlo even looks at me today i will beat his ass</p><p>Ursula: ur pretty sexy, but you know what's sexier? this case.</p><p>Everglade: ill pin you against this wall</p><p>Ten: i can't see you from up there</p><p>Ryder: you're really attractive. even though i won't be in Portia long id still like to get to know you</p><p>Papa Bear: aw aw aw aw? </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. crack 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Liuwa: i don't trust you bitches because bitches spelled backwards is 'sehctib' and that don't make sense just like you bitches.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. crack 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Source: https://incorrectsmashbrosquotes.tumblr.com/post/176988892176/the-villains-teach-preschool</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Lucy's out sick. Who's gonna sub</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Antoine: It's storytime, kids! So, I'm going to read you my eight-hundred thousand words long Coffee Shop AU of me and Dr. Xu!</p><p>Everglade: And that is why Joseph Stalin's Soviet Union is a model of the perfect society.</p><p>Oaks: WHO WANTS TO PLAY WITH FIRECRACKERS?</p><p>Higgins: Look either you punks take a nap or you take a six-foot dirt nap.</p><p>Huss (&amp; Tuss): *grabbing Toby by the collar* Give me your lunch money!</p><p>Django: No, you may not have snacks, there are none. *currently eating from a box labeled 'snack time'*.</p><p>Sam: *No one moves. They are too terrified. She just sits in the corner staring*.</p><p>Merlin: I have brought you cookies. However! Half of them are unsweetened oatmeal raisin and the other half are chocolate chip. You may only take one cookie. Have fun. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. crack 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Source: The Powerpuff Girls</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gale: And what are you all smiles about?</p><p>Gust: Can’t I just smile because I’m happy?</p><p>Albert: Mint tripped and fell outside.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. crack 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mali: arlo i will beat your ass</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. crack 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Phyllis: you ever wondered about like....if the jump dancers feel anything or is their only emotion 'fuck humanity'?</p><p>Xu: pleASE Phyllis stop smoking the herbs. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. group chat 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>i uh, i might've stopped updating this but i never stopped writing for it so I have a worrying amount of trash saved up.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>complexion. Flawless added sugar baby dreams, Emily :chick:, and Kiss The Chef to 'Dick Appointment Soon?'.</p><p>complexion. Flawless: did you see xu today ??</p><p>sugar baby dreams: i knowww. he's going to get snatched up real soon.</p><p>Emily :chick:: ANOTHER group chat?</p><p>complexion. Flawless: yes. this is important</p><p>Emily :chick:: I can tell from the chat name.</p><p>sugar baby dreams: :eggplant: :cucumber: :clock: :calendar:</p><p>Kiss The Chef: Thank you for feeling the need to put it Layman's Terms.</p><p>complexion. Flawless: django !! you actually responded</p><p>Kiss The Chef: Why add me to a chat you didn't think I would talk in?</p><p>complexion. Flawless: to annoy you</p><p>Kiss The Chef: Its working</p><p>Kiss The Chef: Sonia where are you?</p><p>sugar baby dreams: uh. my stand</p><p>Kiss The Chef: No you aren't.</p><p>Emily :chick:: No she is. I see her!</p><p>Kiss The Chef: No you don't dammit.</p><p>complexion. Flawless: no.i see her. Youre just an old man with old man vision</p><p>Kiss The Chef: antoine are you at your job?</p><p>complexion. Flawless: Always. I care about my check unlike your waitress. :nails: :money bag:</p><p>sugar baby dreams: thank you</p><p>complexion. Flawless: :kiss: :kissing:</p><p>Emily :chick:: Dick appointment soon though?</p><p>complexion. Flawless: oh yeah. I'll get him sooner or later.</p><p>Kiss The Chef: .</p><p>Kiss The Chef has left.</p><p>complexion. Flawless: i will hold another meeting whem i have more news. Meeting adjourned.</p><p>sugar baby dreams: hope django doesn't see the hickey...albert got a little frisky.</p><p>Emily :chick:: :worried:</p><p>complexion. Flawless: :eyes:</p>
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